


It's All About Timing

by LilShitWayne



Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, after season 2, darling girl, nicole doesn't have a character tag and this is BULLSHIT
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24932836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilShitWayne/pseuds/LilShitWayne
Summary: Lilith's back from Hell and nothing feels right, perfect timing to be caught up in a love-pentagon.ORThe knights work on making Lilith feel whole again.
Relationships: Lilith Bathory/Randall Carpio, Randall Carpio/Gabrielle Dupres
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	It's All About Timing

**Author's Note:**

> This might seem a little too Randall/Lilith focused, but I promised next chapter we'll branch out.

Coming back from Hell - demonic helm slash dimension, same shit - was, to put it bluntly, awful. Worse than awful actually, it was almost as bad as  _ being _ in Hell. 

Everything on Earth was the same but, at the same time, it wasn’t. She was thirsty all the time, but drinking water did nothing to quell it. Hunger didn’t begin to cover what she felt, but everything she ate came back up hours later, tasting like sulphur. Her body looked the same- They had even been able to cover up the scars on her face-, but Lilith didn’t feel the same. She felt less than human and at the same time, so above them. 

They were there every step of the way, of course, babying and coddling her like a newborn fawn. Hamish’s hands out to catch her as she took her first steps outside, eyes hooded by worry. Randall sat next to her on the bathroom floor that same night, unbothered by the vomiting, chatting non stop about everything she had missed. He had tucked her in bed that night. Jack was going through his own grief, but even he showed up daily, never once backing down when Lilith had acidic answers to every comment he made. None of them pitied her and Lilith loved them for it. 

Then there were the other two. Nicole and Gabrielle. 

Lilith can deal with what she feels for Gabrielle: Skin crawling envy and jealousy. She catches Gabrielle and Randall chatting over drinks one night and Lilith barely makes it to the woods before she wolfs out. Gabrielle is Anger and Lilith isn’t new to anger, that’s half her personality. She can deal with it. 

Nicole, however… 

Nicole is just Guilt. If Lilith loved her one day, the feelings were so flimsy and ephemeral they didn’t survive the first week in Hell. Coming back and learning what the other girl did for her floods Lilith with gratitude which slowly turns into resentment as she realizes breaking Nicole’s heart right now would make her as much of a demon as she’s trying to avoid. There’s also the wild card of the Hell brainwash and the fact that at least twice a week Lilith wakes up and glares inside Timber’s chest with enough longing to make her eyes burn. She misses home, she misses Hell, she misses not caring, and not having responsibility with these mortal people. 

Gabrielle finds her in the basement during one of these nights, clutching the chest while sobbing copiously and pathetically. She sits on the stairs and waits until the crying is over, before letting out a long whistle. 

“You could star in a soap opera, girl.” 

“Fuck you” Lilith bites back before the insult is even out of Gabby’s mouth, her eyes shining hellfire’s bright orange. 

“Why are  _ you  _ crying?” Gabrielle scoffs, laughing humorlessly, “People love you so much they nearly caused an apocalypse to get you back. What do you have to cry about?”

“What if I didn’t want to be back?” Lilith snarls, but it is punctuated by a sniffle which significantly takes back from her scare factor. The other girl shrugs, sitting there in a silky baby pink robe looking like she was just in a Victoria’s Secret photoshoot. 

“I don’t believe you. You’re not stupid” She glares at Lilith, standing up and patting imaginary dust from her ass, “You and I both know the quickest route to Hell, the fact that you’re still here… Speaks for itself.” 

Then she turns around and walks up the rest of the stairs, making a point of shutting the door, leaving Lilith in the dark. 

The conversation haunts her. She dreams of it that night and the night after it and then it's less dreaming and more fantasizing it, idealizing it. The quickest route to Hell is suicide, but Lilith wouldn’t do that to any of her friends, not after what they’ve been through to get her back. 

She wouldn’t do that to Nicole. 

Turns out that Nicole would do that to her. Not the suicide part, the leaving part. 

“It’s not working” Nicole says quietly, twisting her hands and keeping her eyes low, “you and I, we’re not- It’s not working.”

“I know, I know- I know it’s been hard, I know I’ve been difficult, I’ll do better, I-”

“It’s not you!” Nicole is quick to reassure her and it makes Lilith feel shaky and weak and bitter.

“It’s not you, it’s me?” Lilith mocks, flashing eyes and slamming her hand against the bar counter, “Nicole, at least have the balls to say it to my face-”

“I’m going to Washington!” Nicole exclaims, recoiling on her seat, “Lil… It was good while it lasted, but this... This temple’s a mess. Our lives are a mess. I’m not- I’m not happy here and I can’t keep watching you tear yourself apart over someone-”

“Someone?” She pauses, confused and then scoffs “You’re breaking up with me because of Randall!? Him and I are past, actually we’re not even past, we never-”

“Lilith” Nicole pleads and grabs her hands, “I’m not happy. You’re not happy. He’s not- No one’s happy. I’m moving away whether you want it or not, I just- Please be honest with yourself. You’re not going to heal if you just bottle it all up up. You can’t suck up Hell and you can’t suck up first love and you can’t suck up the fact that you’re still human.” 

“Nick- Nick, please don’t-” 

She kisses Lilith on the cheek one last time and then the next day she’s gone and the other acolytes are glaring daggers in Lilith’s direction and Hamish invites her out for a movie night, which ends up with them in his apartment and Lilith crying straight into his arms until she falls asleep. 

Hamish is like an anchor in the middle of a storm, so Lilith clings to him like a child. There’s something bothering him. She’s been filled in about the whole “Vermish issue” as Randall calls it, but it’s more than that. She’s sprawled on his bed, head buried on his chest and watching a historical drama that Hamish seems very interested in, when he speaks up.

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not  _ your _ fault she doesn’t love me anymore” Lilith snorts, receiving nothing but silence as an answer. She scoots up, looking him in the face and cringes. It’s not about Nicole. Foolish of her to think issues around here ever came unaccompanied. 

“I’m sorry for not trying harder,” Hamish whispers, forcing his eyes to meet hers. He looks in pain, “I didn’t want to fuck anything else up - I- We lost you because we were greedy and arrogant and I couldn’t be that anymore, so I was a coward. Randall’s right, I let Vera boss me. I should’ve helped more- I-”

“Hamish” Lilith squeezes his face between her fingers and shuts him up, “I’m not mad at you. You stopped the other idiots from dying. Without you to keep them alive, you would never have made it to the point you could save me.” 

He pouts and looks down, nodding timidly, “Forgive me?” 

“Please” She scoffs, leaning in and resting her forehead against his, “You’ve been forgiven since you bought me heartbreak ice cream.” 

He chuckles and leans in, planting a small, tiny peck on her lips, before engulfing her in a tight hug and squeezing Lilith so much she thinks a little part of her heart is being glued back together. 

“I… Heard you broke up” Randall says, standing by her bedroom door at the wolf house - her house, because there was no way she’d sleep with some random chick in the dorms ever again. 

“Gossip travels fast. What was it that tipped you? Nicole flying to DC, the acolytes hating on me or Hamish texting you?” 

“I…” Randall pauses, frowning and then rolls his eyes “You went to Hamish for heart break comfort? You know he’s sober, right?” 

Lilith shrugs, still incredibly bitter. She’s got so much to catch up with school, with magic, with her whole fucking life. Randall just seems to be holding her back. He’s all of her issues: He’s love, friendship and incredibly, horribly  _ human. _

“What do you want?”

“Duh? To take you out for a drink? Who goes through a break up sober anyway?” He seems almost offended, “c’mon, Lil.” 

This is how she ends up swaying outside of The Blade and Chalice, an arm hooked on Randall’s and listening to him belt out  _ I’m Sexy and I Know It _ . 

“You’re a horrible singer” She giggles, poking his sides and pulling him down the streets of the university, “Nicole was great at it.” 

“She was great at a lot of things” He concedes, graceful as ever, leaning on her, “I’m sorry she fucked off, Lil.”

“She said- She said she wasn’t happy and that I wasn’t and it’s not- It’s not fair. It’s not true!” Lilith whines, stomping her foot and he wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her down the path. 

“Are you? Happy?”

“No, but it’s not her fault! She didn’t have to leave!” 

“Whose fault is it, then?” He asks so quietly that Lilith almost thinks she misheard it. 

“Yours” She scoffs, finding a patch of humid grass and collapsing on it. She pulls him down too, “it’s your fault. All your fault.”

“Now, that doesn’t seem fair either, you know? I did dive into hell to grab your grumpy ass-”

“You wish you could grab my ass” she retorts drunkenly and falls back, looking at the night sky. The stars are twirling, “Why did you fall in love with someone else while I was in hell? That’s not fair either.”

“I didn’t.” 

Lilith scoffs and lays a hand over her chest. It feels like it’s burning and it’s more than just the alcohol, “That isn’t true, I’ve seen you around that little- little asshole.” 

Randall is quiet for a second, before he sits up and glares at her “No, you’re being the asshole. You’re the one who fell in love with someone else first!”

“While I was memoryless!” 

“Well, you were in hell and still had a girlfriend! Was I supposed to not-” 

“Move on?” Lilith splutters and this hurts more than anything she’s been through since coming back. It feels like a hot knife is digging into her chest, “Did you? Move on?”

He glances down and then sniffles and shakes his head, “I wish. I wanted to. Then you could be happy with Nicole and I’d be happy with Gabrielle and-”

“But you didn’t” Lilith interrupts him, breathless. She needs to hear it. It’s just three words, but she needs to hear it out loud. 

“No, I didn’t. Not for the lack of trying. All I managed was to fall for two people, because I’m that type of loser.” He seems angry, but Lilith sees right through it. 

“No” She sighs, squeezing his hand “No, you’re the type of loser to comfort the girl you love when she’s sad over her ex.” 

“Her ex she dated for a week” Randall completes and Lilith scoffs. 

“I’ve been back for a whole month, idiot.” 

“You haven’t been in love with her since you came back. I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.” 

Lilith pauses over that sentence and then it hits her. She hasn’t. He’s right for once. All she’s been mourning was the loss of another thing that made her feel normal. A small thing that hadn’t changed since going to hell and back. 

“You good?” Randall asks quietly, pulling her to him. Lilith nods and lets him embrace her, feeling his lips on her temple and his hand open on her back, rubbing up and down.

“What are we gonna do?” 

“Let’s take it easy” He sighs, “I’m patient… And charming. You won’t be able to resist me. You didn’t before.”

“You forgot you’re dating a psycho.”

“Oh, you and I are dating already?” 

“I was talking about Gabrielle” Lilith giggles, burying her face in his neck crook and closing her eyes. She doesn’t mind that she might fall asleep before he comes up with a solution. It’s alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @meowesomeval for beta-reading this!


End file.
